that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
