i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
