May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
His nipple licking is glorious
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