Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
