This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
