4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
