I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
