Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
