Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
