What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
