Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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