How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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