Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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