C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
