I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
