Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
