Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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