Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
