Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
