ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
