hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
if only i could text you this smell
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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