Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
