Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
