She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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