the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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