just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
