Me too!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
