He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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