dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
try to milk me bitch
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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