I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
