I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
