from now on my penis is your penis
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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