Please, let me fuck your mom
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
