I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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