Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
