I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
