Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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