I'm gonna have a badass scar
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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