bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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