Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
