we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
