I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Found the puke drawer
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
