I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
