I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize