I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
