Sacagawea was the original milf.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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