if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
