drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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