he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize