i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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