We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
