Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Someone came in the potted fern
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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