He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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