Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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