in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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