i think my tv is drunk
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
