When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
