Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
