Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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