with your own penis?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
