the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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