I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
